[dropcap]A[/dropcap]s I’m nearing the end of my first trimester (already?!) I thought I’d get something off my chest- this stage of pregnancy is hard and weird. I was so focused on getting pregnant, that I gave little thought to what it would be like to be pregnant. Growing a baby bump is not graceful and effortless as I discovered one evening after I did a big sneeze, nor does morning sickness come and go (that shit stays all day). Stuff you liked yesterday is hideous today, whether that’s food or smells. Your sense of smell reaches X Men style heights. You become narcoleptic. Pregnancy is weird guys. These are the things that I’ve experienced in the first trimester that no one told me about…
ROUND LIGAMENT PAINS
Thought cramps were out of the way for the next nine months? Wrong. Say hello to round ligament pain! As your uterus grows, the ligaments supporting it stretch and pull and it’s how do you do all over again to cramps all over your abdomen. These will sometimes pop up and surprise you when you least expect it- say when you turn around, do a sneeze or a cough or even when you shift over on the sofa.
Whilst it is getting better, I am still getting bouts of morning sickness- which should really be renamed all day sickness. Imagine being car sick, all day. When the morning sickness kicked in so did my need for naps- probably as a means to cope with the queasiness. At my worst, I was in bed in all day, unable to do anything except lie under a blanket and croak at Robin to get me a drink or a plain snack- anything to get something into my empty stomach. Which brings me to the next challenge…
You assume before you’re pregnant that you will eat only the healthiest and greenest of meals…I figured that since we ate pretty healthily anyway, nothing would change. But then, my food aversions kicked in. If it was green, it ain’t going in! My tender stomach, already queasy at the best of times, could only stand plain, beige food. When I could eat, it was crisps, potatoes or bread based (to this day, my ‘safe’ food option is a jacket potato with baked beans) Other strange things I have gone off- pasta, tea, and water. Yep- even water! It’s a weird one. It’s not so much the taste but the texture that turns my stomach. To stay hydrated, I’ll have a pint of weak squash or some juice. Fanta with ice cubes is the absolute number one most refreshing thing ever right now, but a Sprite or 7-Up will do the job too.
At it’s peak, after a week of barely being able to eat and feeling completely miserable, I had a strong craving and urge that I could handle a KFC, which Robin dutifully brought home. It was a 2 piece meal with gravy and I ate the whole thing- it felt like the most heavenly meal ever.
The other day I tried to make avocado on sourdough toast with cherry tomatoes, then promptly spent the rest of the afternoon riding the quease train. Baby still wants it’s beige food.
I wasn’t prepared for the sleep disruption; from having to get up to pee every other hour, to just not finding a comfortable sleeping position anymore, I haven’t slept a solid 8 hours since pregnancy well and truly kicked in (and I probably won’t again!)
Smells are also heightened and magnified x1000. I find the smell of cat biscuits repugnant, my wardrobe smells weird, when Robin comes home sweaty from football and tennis, even the smell of our flat sometimes just annoys me. Oh, and I’m the only one who can smell all of these scents. I had to replace all of my lotions, potions and shower gels with unscented ones and my collection of scented candles? Banished to the boot of the car. My nose has gained super powers basically.
I belch like a trooper now. I could probably do this on demand.
My organs feel squished. As my uterus grows, everything else has to make room. I’m pretty sure my stomach has halved its size and now sits somewhere in my ribcage where it can shoot stomach acid up towards my throat. My kidneys and liver are probably on holiday somewhere nice like Mykonos. My hair is trying to escape down the plughole every night.
Because your hormones are all over the shop, I find myself crying at everything. Great performance on Strictly? Tears. Watching Romeo and Juliet for the millionth time? Tears. That Amazon advert where the baby is scared of the family dog (which is just a ridiculous ad anyway)- TEARS BECAUSE THAT POOR BUBBAH OF A DOG JUST WANTS TO LOVE HER.
WHERE’S THAT SECOND TRIMESTER?!
I am patiently waiting for the second trimester to kick in, when I will supposedly start glowing, have bursts of energy (this feels unimaginable right now) and achieve swishy hair like a L’Oreal advert.
One nice weirdness out of all of this? My cats, especially Pepper who has always been my shadow, won’t leave me alone. They are always by my side. I like to think it’s because they know. (That, or the cat biscuit smell is actually me)